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Ways The O's Can Spend The Money They Saved This Year
- Lock up Trenidad Hubbard to a long-term, $80-million deal
- Grief counseling for the O’s bullpen coach
- Plenty of No-Dose for Fred Manfra and Jim Hunter
- Hire a top-notch archeologist to find the real age of Leslie Brea
- Fully staff the new Cuban scouting bureau
- Purchase DigitalTV MLB Extra Innings baseball package so Mike Mussina’s starts next season can be shown on the JumboTron
- Better health insurance for The Bird
- Develop a series of subliminal I Love the Owner scoreboard messages
- Resod the path between the dugout and the mound
- Prozac for the Shaky Lemonade Guy
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