“Ways To Make World Series Games Longer”

10. Phish’s seventh-inning “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” jam
    
9. Players allowed to give acceptance speeches after base on balls
   
8. BowFlex infomercials between each inning
   
7. Umpire costume changes--and plenty of ’em
   
6. Play is stopped to allow ex-Orioles to wave enthusiastically to all the folks back home
   
5. Gratuitous shots of Fox actors now includes them playing the outfield for the home team
   
4. Body armor now allowed to be welded on
   
3. Each ball thrown by the pitcher is signed and auctioned off on e-bay
   
2. More spittin’, more scratchin’
   
1. Home plate umpire allowed to use lifeline before making important ball/strike call