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“Advantages of Moving Home Plate Back”
- Can actually hear O's pitchers praying
- Opposing hitters wet and sticky from Shaky Lemonade Guy splashing
- Brook Fordyce spent too much time playing scoreboard hat game
- Spittin' distance from Robbie Alomar
- Brady Anderson able to simultaneously work pitchers and chicks in the stands
- Harder for Oriole hitters to see their stats on the scoreboard
- Two words: Umpire shade
- Less wear and tear on Oriole MVP Ernie Tyler
- All part of the plan to bring the players closer to the community
- Anything to get Sidney Ponson farther away from Boog's Bar-B-Q
