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“Advantages of Playing For The Yankees”
- Never get confused about what uniform to wear
- Sid Fernandez was only with the club for four weeks but left behind enough pork rinds for the whole season
- Allowed to take pre-game batting practice in full “Cats” make-up
- New York doctors treat knife wounds better than any doctors in the world
- Yankee uniforms made of costly bulletproof Kevlar
- They let you to the front of the line with your “I love Willard” sign
- You're making a fortune on ebay off Joey Buttafuoco autographs
- By law of averages, you won't get cancer
- You get to play a corpse on “The Sopranos” anytime you want
- Don Zimmer is a babe magnet
