“Advantages of a Train Wreck Occurring at Camden Yards”

10. For once, the stream of breathless, sweaty people running away from PSINet Stadium is not trying to get away from Ray Lewis’s limo
    
9. A clever ploy to disrupt Pat Gillick's Internet connection
   
8. New microbrew: Hydrochloric Pale Ale
   
7. Forget asbestos, this opens up the lucrative area of black lung lawsuits
   
6. Syd Thrift contends derailment is all part of “The Plan”
   
5. Pressed into action, grounds crew successfully douses a smoldering Fred Manfra
   
4. Power of the Shaky Lemonade Guy harnessed to remove rubble
   
3. Stadium authority now must arrange for a derailment during a Ravens game
   
2. Mangled scrap metal pulled from tunnel used to make cheap commemorative Ripken trinkets
   
1. New flavor of pretzel at Uncle Teddy's — “Cinnamon 'n Soot”