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“Ways Things Would Be Different If Cal Ripken Had Never Played For The Orioles”
- Albert Belle would have been able to wear No. 8 — and he wouldn't have been so grumpy
- Cal's large salary would have been used for signing more players that can't play
- “The Streak” would involve Sid Fernandez, a pitcher of pina coladas and a $5 dare
- The program cover would feature the Shaky Lemonade Guy and a couple of ushers
- Otherwise, you wouldn't be at Camden Yards watching a team 21 games out of first
- Outside Pitch cover boy: Ernie Tyler
- The only numbers on the Warehouse would be to count O's pitching coaches
- Some dude would still be mowing around a big ass rock in his yard
- O's fans would only be guessing that the owner is long winded
- Significantly less hair clogging up the Camden Yards lockerroom shower
