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“Signs You're Targeted For Contraction”
- Vendor now hands out a copy of his resume with every beer sold
- The team's scouting department focuses exclusively on finding retirement villas for the owner
- New Era catalog places your cap between the Washington Senators and St. Louis Browns
- Clubhouse sign reads: “Must return protective cups after each use.”
- The front office is staffed by former employees of Selig Motors, Inc.
- Ain't nobody slapping you on the butt saying, “Wait'll next year!”
- Promotional giveaway items now include used staplers, paper clips and office furniture
- More and more space in the home locker room taken up by rodeo clown costumes
- Inventory at the team store down to a couple of pennants and some boxer shorts
- Road trip plane tickets are one way
