“Your Team Psychologist Is Nuts”

10. Lost his Rorschach Test cards—uses one of Don Zimmer's chaw-stained T-shirts instead
    
9. He tried hypnoses and the entire team started chain smoking
   
8. All of his advice sounds suspiciously like answers on a Magic 8 Ball
   
7. He fashions a crude electroshock therapy unit from a batting helmet and cotton candy machine
   
6. Routinely cites Albert Belle as one of his success stories
   
5. He's found openly weeping after each loss
   
4. Suggests that wearing protective cup on the outside of your uniform will raise self-esteem
   
3. He invoices the team for listening to Jim Hunter and Fred Manfra on the radio
   
2. His remedy for a bad pitching performance: a good spanking
   
1. Though the club seems less depressed, the Prozac is sure making it hard to get around on fastballs