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“Seldom Used Ways To Cheat In Baseball”
- Putting a gerbil in pants to increase first-to-third speed
- Hire a plane to trail distracting banner over ballpark: “Hey, batter, batter, batter!”
- Cut two inches off index finger of pitching hand to make ball curve wildly
- To spook opposition, groundskeeper cuts crop circles in the outfield
- The ol' David Wells' vomit on the ball trick
- Catcher tosses a thong on home plate just as pitch is thrown
- While on second base, get inside of A-Rod's head by talking about the big stock market crash that just occurred
- Hidden microphone makes on-deck hitter think pine tar rag is talking to him
- Resin bag laced with anthrax spores
- A liberal helping of cooties in batting helmets
