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“Things Overheard At The Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony”
- “Mr. Murray, your speech was very moving — twelve heartfellt words.”
- “I'll give you fifty bucks if you take that harmonica away from Stan Musial.”
- “Let's find the two writers who voted for Sid Fernandez and beat them silly.”
- “56 hot dogs! I can't believe Selig broke his record from last year.”
- “I know all about the Jockey ads, but should Jim Palmer really be sitting on the podium in nothing but his underwear?”
- “Nobody tells a 'gettin' hit in the groin' story better than Red Schoendienst.”
- “Is that Ted Williams' head in the punch bowl?”
- “Heads up, Yogi thinks he dropped one of his World Series rings into the chicken salad again.”
- “Hello, good looking, the Veterans Committee has just voted you up to my hotel room later.”
- “Hey, did the Hall of Fame ask you to donate sperm to their collection or was that a hoax?”
