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Top Ten

“Signs Your JumboTron Has Gone Haywire”


  1. It's showing highlights of a Tigers win
  2. “I don't care how great a song it is, 'Thank God I'm a Country Boy' nonstop for six innings is too much”
  3. Orson Welles has created a scene of sheer pandemonium at Uncle Teddy's Pretzels
  4. Have to keep sending Ernie Tyler up to whack it on the side.
  5. It's so grainy I can't tell if it's Al-Jazeera or Jerry Hairston with a towel on his head
  6. “Who the heck is 'Moonlight' Graham?”
  7. Won't stop blinking “12:00 AM”
  8. “Is that Sid Fernandez on a trampoline?”
  9. Fans have never heard the Bird mascot speak, let alone curse a blue streak
  10. “That Esskay hot dog seems to be growing!”


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