“Reasons The Orioles Are Off To A Hot Start”

10. High gas prices = fewer players plan game day jaunts to Atlantic City
9. Sidney Ponson pretends opposing hitters are Aruban judges
8. No distractions from cheering fans
7. Inspired by pressure of performing on Mid-Atlantic Sports Network
6. Brian Roberts playing more like a guy 5-foot-9
5. Reguired clubhouse viewing: The Suze Orman Show on CNBC
4. Fate of AL East in the hands of a mysterious unemployed steelworker from Dundalk with life-like Angelos and Steinbrenner voodoo dolls
3. Bruce Chen’s feng shui clubhouse redecoration
2. Pitchers kind of have that whole balls/strikes thing figured out
1. Signs from bench now given using special “Alabama” alphabet