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Reasons Albert Belle Picked Baltimore
- 48,876 loyal targets every home game
- Maryland's liberal whuppin' laws
- $13 million a year pays for a lot of out-of-court settlements
- East coast photographers run slow
- No priors or outstanding warrants in Maryland
- The owner's a lawyer-'nuff said
- Looking forward to making adjustments to stale city moniker, The Land of Pleasant Living
- Eager to say, Bite me, hon, to female reporters
- Spacious clubhouse affords plenty of room for bat-swinging rampages
- Maryland cork is the best damn cork in the land
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