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“Disadvantages Of Being The Oriole Bird”
- Fans see lovable mascot. Calvin Pickering sees drumsticks
- Expos’ Youppi much more successful despite small-market paycheck
- Ignorant Philly fans that really think you can fly
- Know-it-all Audobon Society members keep razzing you
- Getting crabcake grease out of the plumage
- Asbestos-laden suit gets kinda sticky in the hot weather
- Front-office likely to bring in the Phillie Phanatic, San Diego Chicken or other washed-up has-beens
- You get shoved off a nine-foot wall and all anyone cares about is Cal’s stinkin’ back
- Albert Belle acquisition means you’re no longer the biggest pecker in the organization
- Incessant teasing from the ornithologically correct bird
